Jumbled Random History Death

There always seems to be a topic for a good story floating around in my head. But just as that idea starts to develop, another one pops up. Eventually my head is full of lead sentences that never amount to more than brain clog that slows down the whole system. Somehow I need to defrag the file structure in my head because the disk space seems a little screwed up. We could talk about exercise, diet, smoking, sex, stress and other imbalances that may be occurring or I could just do a brain-dump rough draft all over this page.

First, a good friend of our family has just died. It's all so quite sad and tragic as she was young and had plenty yet to offer this world. I try to focus on the meaning of this whole situation but just end up numb. I doubt numb is one of the the typical stages of grief and maybe it comes under the category of denial but I don't think that is the case here. I'm fine with the short answers like "life's not always fair" and "God has his plan" but am still left with some sort of vagary about the whole situation. I feel bad for feeling this way but this is where I am.

Second, I had a decent conversation about racism with a 55 year-old black southerner today. He was sharing his perspective of segregated high-schools back in the day and I was talking about the Freedom Riders of 1961. I knew he couldn't answer my questions but I wanted him to know that I was starting to understand his pain. Ultimately I was questioning the absurdity of the human condition which causes people to beat the shit out of others just for the color of their skin. What is that? I could almost understand a major social mistake in core beliefs which could temporarily justify slavery. But after a war, some law changes and 100 years of thinking, you would think we knew right from wrong.

Third, I forgot.

Fourth, I also forgot.

Not to mention Golf School is cheaper than Ski School.

Retro Active Resolutions

I like to think that I am in a state of constant self-improvement. Always analyzing and reinventing my moral code and attitudes. However the truth is that I tend to vacillate between being a hyper-active improvement manic and a down-right lazy TV-watching sloth. Perhaps this has a lot to do with how busy, frustrated and exhausted I can get from working full-time. For now I could just care less about the root cause and would rather work around whatever it is that makes me this way. That is why I have invented the retro-active resolution program. I decide, as I go along, what my resolution for the year will be.

Fortunately work is slow right now and I am undergoing and upswing in energy and motivation. Therefore this year's resolutions will revolve around getting the house fixed up, getting organized and keeping my act more together. So far this year I have removed and sold our backyard batting cage via Craig's List. Sold the "Beermeister" and transformed our old play fort into a swing/deck combo made for two. Some of these changes have a great deal of meaning in terms of new life chapters but we can touch on that later. Right now I have to empty the dishwasher, get the 3rd load into the dryer, the second load into the dishwasher, mop, go to the recycle place, do the food shopping, check on my friends cats and then lunch.

The elusive pileated woodpecker.

Chased him around the yard with a camera all weekend. This is as close as I could get. Click the picture to see a little closer.